So, I have been struggling with this post for almost two weeks now. What are the five things I will never do again? Fuck. I have no idea because I probably will do them again, despite my best (or worst) intentions.
I Really Tried to Think of a Never
I literally have been going through my past and thinking, “Okay, what am I never going to do again?”
- Get drunk? Eh. Probably will this weekend.
- Get another kidney transplant? Yeah, another thing I can’t say no to.
- Move across country/three times in one year/into temp housing/any combination of the above? Ha. Right. I am totally not betting on that one.
- Go with a publisher or self-publish? I’m planning on doing both this summer.
- Impulsively spend money on something gorgeous but useless? Damn you, Etsy. I almost had this one.
- Binge read fan fiction in order to procrastinate? That’ll happen when I stop getting writer’s block.
- Get up in front of a crowd and embarrass myself? See, I don’t think that can happen because I can’t be embarrassed. Put me in front of a crowd, and I carry it off, no matter what happens.
- Wet my pants/wear diapers (okay, okay, that was from a loooooong time ago)? Well, they’re not making Depends commercials for the fun of it…
You get the point. Never is a long time, and life is tricky. Frankly, the only thing I can think of that I won’t ever do again is be breastfed. So…I guess you had better follow me and keep an eye on my adventures…
Oh, case in point: After finishing this post on my website about the House of Worth and its iconic fashion design in the 19th century, I said to myself, “Never again will I do a post that requires so many image attributions!” Then, I remembered, I have already planned two more posts on the House of Worth. FML. Make me happy. Check out my post.